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Mama-drama
Feb. 4th, 2010 09:39 pmIt's a good thing I wasn't trying to do the kind of work that requires focus, this afternoon, because the phone would not stop ringing.
First, R's poor mom broke her hip at her weekly bridge club! R's sister called to tell me she'd gotten a message to this effect, and then couldn't find her anywhere. It turns out that it just took a while for their hospital to get her officially into their system. The break is not complicated, and they're doing surgery in the morning. R's mom, though 86, is in great health, and things should be fine.
Then my mom called. I'm not sure why my sister helped her use the phone - maybe just to "share the love"? But anyway, my mom was extremely confused. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it was she wanted of me, beyond that it was very urgent. The most coherent version I could come up with is that she wanted me to drive her, instantly, to my sister's house, so that she could get the information there... in order to get to her own house... and find her (late) husband... or something. Eventually I reminded her that my sister's husband will drive her around some on Sunday, and that calmed her for the moment.
Later my sister called back and explained her theory. Dementia often leads to anxiety, and in my mom's case, the best way she has to deal with it is to try to go places, move around constantly. Maybe this is why she was bothering the neighbors so much. Unfortunately, when we took away that vast amount of alcohol she was drinking, we probably took away her self-medication. So my sister's trying to get her onto an effective anti-anxiety medication. Meanwhile, she'll go on and on for like four hours at a time, trying to get my sister to get her husband to come that very moment to drive her places. The poor guy is already working 12-hour days and a. can't leave work to indulge my mom's whims, and b. needs to relax afterwards, not drive difficult old ladies around town. But neither of these things would mean anything to my mom. (Edit: How nice it would be if my sister could drive.)
First, R's poor mom broke her hip at her weekly bridge club! R's sister called to tell me she'd gotten a message to this effect, and then couldn't find her anywhere. It turns out that it just took a while for their hospital to get her officially into their system. The break is not complicated, and they're doing surgery in the morning. R's mom, though 86, is in great health, and things should be fine.
Then my mom called. I'm not sure why my sister helped her use the phone - maybe just to "share the love"? But anyway, my mom was extremely confused. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it was she wanted of me, beyond that it was very urgent. The most coherent version I could come up with is that she wanted me to drive her, instantly, to my sister's house, so that she could get the information there... in order to get to her own house... and find her (late) husband... or something. Eventually I reminded her that my sister's husband will drive her around some on Sunday, and that calmed her for the moment.
Later my sister called back and explained her theory. Dementia often leads to anxiety, and in my mom's case, the best way she has to deal with it is to try to go places, move around constantly. Maybe this is why she was bothering the neighbors so much. Unfortunately, when we took away that vast amount of alcohol she was drinking, we probably took away her self-medication. So my sister's trying to get her onto an effective anti-anxiety medication. Meanwhile, she'll go on and on for like four hours at a time, trying to get my sister to get her husband to come that very moment to drive her places. The poor guy is already working 12-hour days and a. can't leave work to indulge my mom's whims, and b. needs to relax afterwards, not drive difficult old ladies around town. But neither of these things would mean anything to my mom. (Edit: How nice it would be if my sister could drive.)