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Bother, indeed
I think I have mentioned that my mom visits her neighbors excessively, at all hours, and asks them to do her favors. Example: drive her to Safeway for some bananas she suddenly decided she might like to have. Then they do this for her. I wish these neighbors would set limits. If I were her neighbor, she'd be driving me nuts, but it's simply not possible for me, for example, to convey to her that they may not want her to visit. They have to do it themselves.
(This is the woman who exasperated me when I was a teenager for her refusal to go ask the counterpeople at McDonalds for a package of catsup, because she "didn't want to impose.")
Anyway, now one of the neighbors has reported her to Adult Protective Services, on the grounds that she is "wandering" and potentially a victim of "neglect." I'm sorry, but people who are "wandering" in dementia don't know where they're going, and she does know, she's going to visit her nice neighbors. And neglect? Sure, it's sad if she's lonely and if she can't remember that all of her other needs are being met, but good grief, the irony.
Anyway, the home health workers who are taking care of her met with me today and told me about this. The strategy we've come up with is to hire a caretaker to visit her three times a week, help with housekeeping and companionship, and take her on nice outings. Since she'll have forgotten the caretaker was there within an hour of the visits, though, I doubt this is going to keep her from over-visiting the neighbors. It would be ridiculous for her to have to lose her home on the grounds of the neighbors not setting appropriate boundaries.
(Yes, I know I need to go meet with all of these neighbors, express sympathy, and defuse the situation. Urgh.)
(This is the woman who exasperated me when I was a teenager for her refusal to go ask the counterpeople at McDonalds for a package of catsup, because she "didn't want to impose.")
Anyway, now one of the neighbors has reported her to Adult Protective Services, on the grounds that she is "wandering" and potentially a victim of "neglect." I'm sorry, but people who are "wandering" in dementia don't know where they're going, and she does know, she's going to visit her nice neighbors. And neglect? Sure, it's sad if she's lonely and if she can't remember that all of her other needs are being met, but good grief, the irony.
Anyway, the home health workers who are taking care of her met with me today and told me about this. The strategy we've come up with is to hire a caretaker to visit her three times a week, help with housekeeping and companionship, and take her on nice outings. Since she'll have forgotten the caretaker was there within an hour of the visits, though, I doubt this is going to keep her from over-visiting the neighbors. It would be ridiculous for her to have to lose her home on the grounds of the neighbors not setting appropriate boundaries.
(Yes, I know I need to go meet with all of these neighbors, express sympathy, and defuse the situation. Urgh.)